| Asshole: you're a nobody |
| Me: nobodys perfect |
If you’re Chinese, you’d get it.
Is spiderman black or white?
是白的 man.
this is when learning chinese for 3 years pays off.
(via joannaxue)
(via sotpstop)
| (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.) |
| Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!” |
| (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.) |
| Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?” |
| Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.” |
| Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?” |
| Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.” |
| (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.) |
| Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.” |
(via skyed)
| in my history class today |
| some girl: i dont get why guys like lesbian porn so much i mean its weird its not like theres any girls that like gay porn seriously |
| me: sinks down slowly into my chair until i sink through the floor and into the depths of hell |
